Wellness Series: Until Daybreak (Part 2)

What are Pre-Teens talking about? Observe the positive godly relationship between these friends. This is fostered in the Children and Teens Church so that they can carry out this self-love into their school and home environments.

Health is knowing how to create and cultivate close positive (godly) relationships with others1.

In our previous conversation, we discussed how to step toward creating good quality relationships with others; and we also encountered how self-hatred can block you from achieving that. Jesus fulfilled and taught us to “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” (Leviticus 19:18; Matthew 5:43-48) and “Whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them” (Matthew 7:12).

What are the signs of Self-love? Self-love is evident in you when:

1.   You forgive others when they have wronged you and think they are right about their actions.

2.   You admit when you’re at fault and seek reconciliation by apologizing or by listening to godly advice and doing it.

3.   You treat your physical body well with adequate food, rest, and exercise.

4.   You plan and work out your life’s dream by exercising your mind in positive, goal-oriented thoughts.

5.   You be transparent in how you feel—“Yes is yes, and no is no.” Do not allow others to force you into ungodly behavior (Galatians 5:19-21) and/or untimely sexual relationships.

6.   You are led by the Holy Spirit when you don’t know which way to go.  You fill your soul with the Holy Spirit (by reading and meditating on His Word) in order to be led by Him.

7.   You value the grace of God moving on your behalf; and give Him thanks.  You don’t have to manipulate God to get what you need or want.

8.   You master consecration—being by yourself (set aside for special use in service to God) when others can’t understand you or resent/hate you because of your walk with Jesus.

When you practice loving yourself, the quality of relationships you have with others will improve.  God shall put people in your life to strengthen and help you in your faith-walk.  He will also remove those who have ungodly intentions toward you.  Pray fervently to discern who is who.

Then Jacob asked, saying, “Tell me Your name, I pray.” And He said, “Why is it that you ask about My name?” And He blessed him there (Genesis 32:29).

Jacob may have asked His name to get confirmation that it was really God whom he was wrestling.  It’s hard to believe that God would come and wrestle with a man, His own creation.  But isn’t that exactly what loving parents do to their children?  That wrestling was a form of chastisement—to force Jacob to wake up out of his delusion that he was okay.  Sometimes we are not okay; and people around us can’t tell us that we’re off course because they can’t discern our inner thoughts or character.

God wants to use you to increase souls for His Kingdom.  And in order to do that, He Himself has to get into your life and make you struggle with Him until you confess who you know you are; and repent.  It is our Loving Father who uses the rod on us when we lose our way.  And, after we find it, He blesses us. 

That’s why it is so imperative that you don’t run away from God when times get hard, and you see no way out.  It’s when we’re in the dark that we must draw closer to God.  And, when we don’t even know we’re in the dark, He comes to us—at the right time, His time—to bring us into the break of day—the light: to restore us, to bless us.

Aren’t you tired of fighting other people, of struggling with your own insecurities, and of complaining about everything wrong?  Then get into a quiet place alone and wrestle with God.  Take all your grief, frustration, and anxiety (feeling of uneasiness or nervousness) and give it to God.  Let Him hear it all from the depth of your soul—pour it all out. 

Be prepared for when He breaks you.  Surely He will.  Then rejoice for His blessing.  That He surely will do, too.

But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept (Genesis 33:4).   

It wasn’t Esau whose life was transformed.  He wept only after receiving the gifts and the respect from Jacob’s family members.  The transformation came for Jacob when he realized that he didn’t have to give those gifts out of fear of his brother’s plot to attack him with 400 armed men—a deceitful way to buy his brother’s love. 

Predators (those who feed on the vulnerability and weaknesses of others) are using gifts to lure our children into dangerous sexual relationships and into addictive gangs who are into betting, the occult, drug and alcohol abuse. 

As Israel, he understood that his life had a greater purpose for the growth of God’s Kingdom; and that God changes the heart of men from plotting evil against His children to finding good favour for them when they—His children whom He’s chastised—walk in obedience to His Way and to His Word.  It is good to give gifts—giving is good.  But what was amiss in Jacob’s giving was his intent for giving.

Right now, take a look at your thoughts and actions and ask yourself, “Why am I thinking this; or doing that?”  Then check yourself: Is it out of self-love? or Is it out of self-hate? You must choose one because it’s impossible to live in both and experience the blessing of wellness.

© 2020, 2025 by Patience Osei-Anyamesem. All rights reserved.  Published by The Light In Me Enterprise.  No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—without the prior written permission of the publisher.  The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews or other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Unless otherwise stated, all scripture quotations are from The New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.  Used by permission. All rights reserved.

The artwork depicted in the blog article is carefully selected to draw out the points made for healing of the soul, and by no means promote any ideologies from the various artists unless they are found in the center of God's perfect will.

1.     Travis, J. (1977). The Wellness Workbook. Mill Valley, CA, USA: Wellness Resource Center.

The videos are a product of The Light In Me Ent. specially designed to tackle the issues that adolescents are challenged with on a daily basis and reflected in their "Real Talk" conversations during their Children and Teens' Church services every Sunday. Contact us to begin "Real Talk" Series training for the adults who work with Children and Teens in your church, school, or home community.